• Home
  • About Me
  • Books
    • A Prophet Who Loved Her (Out now)
    • Flavours Of Black (Oct 2021)
    • The Wife of a Prophet (Oct 2022)
    • Secure The Bag, Not Her Heart (OCT 2023)
  • Short story collection
  • Blog
    • Reviews
  • News
  • Subscribe to newsletter
  • Contact
  THE URBAN INTELLECTUAL

blog

Six things I would tell my younger self

10/24/2019

3 Comments

 
Picture
​Just a couple of days ago, I turned 30. The BIG THIRTY. Ask anyone who knows me, and they will tell you, a few days before the big day, I was stressed. Was this the end of my youth? Have I accomplished anything? Have I made too many mistakes?

Once the big day arrived and went, I felt oddly at peace. For the first time in a while I felt balanced. Of course, no one ever stops growing and learning but I realised that I know myself now: my weaknesses, my strengths, my likes and my dislikes and I was completely comfortable with who I am. 

So, after being inspired by this great post from fellow University of Brighton alumnus Ross Asubonteng (a great personal blog by the way with inspiring teachings), I have decided to write a list of the six pieces of advice I would tell my younger self if I was given a time machine (apart from going back to 2015,  the last perfect summer).

1)Women are fun but not as important as your friends are making them out to be
Don’t worry too much about the opposite sex. I know most of your friends, particularly when you arrive at university, will be focused on sleeping with as many women as their hormones will allow. But don’t be too quick to chase women all the time or have a girlfriend just because your university friends have girlfriends. Take time to explore meaningful pursuits outside of girls because in your 20s, girls are mostly a distraction anyway. Trust me.

2)Don’t be too reckless with money. Cultivate the attitude of saving
Instead of the miniscule pocket money you used to receive from your parents, you will begin to start making some decent money after university. Try not to squander it all on alcohol and partying – that isn’t to say don’t have fun – but set some money aside for a later day. Trust me, you’re going to wish you had because your life will be rocked by a huge bombshell in your mid 20s and you will struggle with this new shift in your life partially because of your recklessness with money.

3)Don’t be so naive about raising a family
That bombshell I was talking about? Well, you end up having a baby with your then girlfriend at the age of 26. At first you will be ecstatic and excited, thinking about all the things you will do with your baby daughter but you are foolishly unaware of how unprepared and naive you are about the realities of raising a family. You’re naturally a nice man, having been brought up responsibly, but while you will be a good father you will be a terrible family man at 26 (there is still much you want to do with your youthful energy, staying at home with a crying child constantly will make you deeply miserable) and this will ultimately lead to the breakdown of the relationship with your daughter’s mother. But it’s ok. Everything happens for a reason and you’ll be fine in the end.

4)Don’t be afraid to cut off friends. Loyalty is not a given
There will be friends you’ve known for a long time who will deeply disappoint you. There are friends who you will realise were never really your friends to begin with. This will hurt you but, in the process, make you stronger. You will tolerate less bullshit from people, and you will become more ruthless in your ability to cut off friends if they cross your boundaries. You are a nice guy and you will realise you’re too nice and need to be an asshole sometimes. It’s a realisation that will stand you in good stead as you move forward in life and deal with more cunning people in your personal and professional life.

5)You will move jobs. A lot. But this is not a bad thing in hindsight
After graduating you will have a series of jobs because you’re naturally charming and people like you. However, some of these jobs will be good experiences and some will be very bad experiences, but you will certainly move around a lot for various reasons. At times you may feel like a failure for not staying in a single job for such a long time but as a result of this you will pick up a range of experiences from different types of companies and different types of people. This will make you a more well-rounded person, both personally and professionally.

6)Learn to be alone for a while – it will take time for you to grow into your own
Don’t be afraid of being alone. It is this fear of not being around someone that will make you rush into a new relationship when you just left one and put up with nonsense from some friends just because you don’t want to lose them. But being alone will be crucial for your development. Due to being pampered by your parents during your formative years and your friends holding your hand throughout university, you’re not very good at standing on your own two feet but this will change gradually. You will travel alone and start to enjoy being an independent person and become comfortable in your own skin.

There will be many twists, turns and bumps throughout your 20s but you’ll be ok. You’re a strong guy, always have been. You just need to realise that for yourself. And thankfully, you will. 
3 Comments
TotoDesk link
10/30/2019 06:51:09 am

you have done a great job i hope you will do much batter in the future

Reply
best essay writing service link
12/25/2019 08:36:34 pm

There are lots of things that I wish I knew earlier, however, we cannot really turn back time. Personally, I think that studying harder would be one of them. I used to just slack off all of the time, and I hate it. I want to be a person who can do lots of things, and I am really unhappy with my current skill set. I really wish that I my old self was a little bit more hard working.

Reply
sims 4 cheats link
4/21/2020 08:44:58 pm

A good forum and a lot of visitors will bring information to readers. And this forum is a demonstration, it's great. Visit game in happy island living launch week.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Archives

    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018

    Categories

    All
    Art
    Brexit
    Colonialism
    Culture
    Family
    Fatherhood
    Film
    History
    Men
    Mental Health
    Music
    Nigeria
    Racism
    Relatioships
    Representation
    Sex
    Sport
    Writing

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly
  • Home
  • About Me
  • Books
    • A Prophet Who Loved Her (Out now)
    • Flavours Of Black (Oct 2021)
    • The Wife of a Prophet (Oct 2022)
    • Secure The Bag, Not Her Heart (OCT 2023)
  • Short story collection
  • Blog
    • Reviews
  • News
  • Subscribe to newsletter
  • Contact