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 Man like Hushpuppi in jail, you nah. For those of you who have no clue as to what I am on about, let me swiftly bring you up to speed. Hushpuppi, real name Raman Abbas, is a wealthy 37-year-old Nigerian multi-millionaire who has made a career from seriously stunting his lavish lifestyle and wealth on Instagram. The pictures come with corny captions about 'trusting the process.' For real, check out this brother’s Instagram. Hushpuppi stunting is so outlandish; he makes Floyd Mayweather’s Instagram look like it belongs to a peasant. Gucci top, sports cars, private jets, and expensive watches – Hushpuppi’s Instagram account has it all (noticeably his Instagram has no photos of beautiful women around him, odd considering how much wealth he has. Goes to show money can't buy you game). Recently, Hushpuppi was arrested in Dubai along with another associate. The FBI have accused the Nigerian of money laundering (no surprise then). He is to go to court later this year in America to fight for his innocence, but it's not looking great for Mr Hushpuppi. He should probably sell some of those diamond-crusted watches to raise enough for bail. With over 2.5 million followers, many young black people around the world are fans of Hushpuppi. Some of my black male friends from my social circle look to him as inspiration to achieve the lifestyle he has carefully crafted on Instagram. Many black women see Hushpuppi’s account and want a man with that kind of resources to provide them with that lavish style. Personally, I am not a fan of Hushpuppi. Why? Because he represents the toxic relationship many young black people have with money. Let me explain. Growing up black and poor means everyone must know you’re now black and RICH!! I’ll never forget, almost a decade ago now, when I finally got my first graduate job. I was a young marketing executive on a basic salary of 22k. But to me, it was like I was earning a six-figure salary. Guess what was the first item I purchased when I received my first paycheque? A £300 Armani watch (which I’ve since lost). Deep it properly. I was a black graduate on a 22k basic, and I went to purchase a £300 Armani watch. Looking back at it now as a 30-year-old, it’s insane that I did that. But when I was 21, I felt the strong need to let everyone know that I had “made it out of the ends.” I was playing with the big boys now (on 22k, I wasn’t get paid that much more than a full-time cashier at ASDA, but a graduate job had me thinking I was just one step down from CEO). I did not grow up as poor compared to other black people around me in East London. Both my parents worked decent jobs. However, I did not live the type of middle-class lifestyle that is common among many white Britons. I did not go skiing at any point, growing up, and my parents did not have a holiday villa in Marbella. Like nearly every black person in East London, I grew up surrounded mainly by poverty. My road was not lined with Mercedes and BMWs. It was mostly run-down Ford Fiestas. As a teenager, I had a weekly allowance of around £10 for the whole week, and many of my black friends had far less to spend. For many young black people in London, growing up in such harsh conditions gave us a sort of complex which fed into a desperate need for us to get money. While some of us went down the route of selling drugs or committing fraud, others strived for academic success. Young black people wanted to reach a position financially where they could buy all the beautiful, disposable things like expensive watches and the latest trainers that our parents were unable to provide for us because they were too busy putting a roof over our heads. When I was very young, there was hardly any middle-class black families in Britain. There still aren't many today. But the point is poverty is the common thread among many black Londoners. But that's only part of the story. It takes a much darker turn. Hip hop and R’N’B culture - The Black Fantasy What's the most significant black mainstream culture? Hip Hop and R'N'B, of course. Apart from the semi-naked women, the dance-heavy beats and the smart wordplay, Hip Hop and R'N'B culture is all about the flash and lavish lifestyle. Fast cars, dollar notes raining from the ceiling while black men with diamond-crusted teeth strutting around with massive chains around their necks. And impressionable young black people soaked this shit up. I remember when I was 15, I dreamed that one day I would be surrounded by sexy women and riding in a Cadillac like Jay Z. But as I got older, the more I realised that the over the top displays of wealth in all these hip hop and rap videos is manufactured entertainment. It wasn't real. But for many young black men, those Rick Ross videos were not entertainment. It was real to them. And many black boys felt they needed to aspire to that. From around the mid-80s to the present day, millions of young black men have strived for the fairy-tale lifestyle portrayed in these hip-hop videos. Our obsession with German cars like BMW, our need to buy expensive bottles of champagne in clubs, gold chains around our necks and the latest designer clothing – it all stems from this black fantasy that hip hop culture created. Unfortunately, it’s a dark fantasy that has led to many black people developing a toxic relationship with money. The culture and mentality of greed is a disease that mainly affects young black people’s mindsets I have seen some black people I know get into spiralling levels of debt trying to maintain a flashy lifestyle beyond their salary. Honestly, I have heard of stories of black men suffering severe mental health trying to strive for the type of life they see in hip hop videos even though their only 25. This mindset of lavish living has also negatively impacted black relationships. We’ve reached a point where many black girls living in London wouldn’t even give a black man the time of day if he isn’t driving a BMW or Mercedes or who couldn’t take her to expensive restaurants regularly. With some black women placing unrealistic expectations on black men, I have seen black men do whatever it takes to show our sisters that they are "balling" when they are not. It has lead to many black men, some I know personally, to make foolish financial decisions or commit fraud or crime with disastrous consequences for their future. The truth is many black boys “trapping” right now are not doing it to help their mother pay her rent and clear her debts. They want fast money to buy Dior, Gucci, and Armani. There was a time when black people worked hard to obtain more money so they could feed their families and provide them with a better life. But for many young black people in this generation, getting massive amounts of wealth has become a toxic mission to live a fantasy of lavish living so they can show this to the world on Instagram. For many black men, they want to display on social media that “other niggers ain’t got it like me.” Maybe the fall of Hushpuppi will be a wakeup call to some of us black men and even black women that we need to become less materialistic in our culture. But I wouldn't bet any money on it. Even if I was balling like Hushpuppi.
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 Previously, I wrote a blog post about the 5 types of black British men in the U.K. under the age of 35, and it received a lot of attention. Both positive and negative. Either way, it started a conversation around the different identities of black British men in the U.K. So, since I believe in equality, I have written an article examining the 5 types of black British women under the age of 35. Disclaimers (in case someone says I must be cancelled now):
With all that out of the way, let’s get to it. 1. Hood black women (also known as ratchet girls) The ratchet or hood black woman are admittedly not excellent terms to describe these types of black women in Britain. But I can’t really think of any other word. The ratchet or hood black woman is almost the equivalent of the roadman but not quite. She may date a roadman, do favours for them or simply have them in her social circle. Still, she isn't usually stabbing people or selling drugs, although they are exceptions. While stereotypically associated with South London, although they can be found in any part of London, the ratchet or hood black woman love going to very hood clubs (often these parties have a very heavy Caribbean influence) and usually smoke weed. They can sometimes be overly aggressive with their I-don’t-take-any-shit attitude. They’re unapologetically sexual but also very tough and resourceful women since they often come from working-class backgrounds. Most of these types of black women wear very colourful weaves, long fingernails, tight outfits, and fluffy sliders from boohoo.com. They are bold, loud and proud. Examples: Some of the black girls on bkchat London, Stefflon Don (her brand anyway) 2. Urban black women The urban black woman is like a middle-class black woman. But what separates them is that the urban black woman is still very connected to black urban or hood culture. However, she is too academically accomplished and financially well-off to be considered a ratchet or hood black woman. Urban black women are incredibly aspirational, so often excel in corporate jobs and have degrees. And these traits are the only similarities they share with middle-class black women. Outside of their jobs, an urban black woman will predominately have black friends (even close friends who are hood girls or roadmen). She only really listens to black urban music (afrobeats, drill, R'n'B, etc.) and will often attend classier black parties. Although, sometimes you could find her at a hood party as well. Despite earning an impressive salary in some cases or having an education that would technically make them middle-class, urban black women often have similar tastes to black hood women but they wouldn’t necessarily date a roadman although they exclusively date black men, but these black men have a certain calibre or status. Urban black women are a lot more refined and classier in the way they talk and present themselves than black hood women. Examples: ZeZe Millz, Maya Jama 3. Middle-class black women or black women with middle-class interests Sometimes, the only way to distinguish the difference between an urban black woman and a middle-class black woman is to look at their interests outside of work. Both of them appear remarkably similar at first: aspirational, financially well-off and educated. Whereas the urban black woman predominantly consumes typical black culture entertainment and most of her social circle are other black people, a middle-class black woman is more fluid in terms of her interests. This particular type of black women probably attends art museums, jazz cafes, listens to alternative music genres and has a diverse range of friends. From my experience, middle-class black women will often have many middle-class white friends. In terms of their dating preferences, again speaking anecdotally, I tend to find middle-class black women often date outside their own race. Urban black women will exclusively date black men, but a middle-class black woman is a lot more open in her dating preferences. Lastly, you most likely won't find a middle-class black woman at an urban or hood party although she may attend occasionally. They don't tend to be party girls, and if they do go out to shake a leg, it's often at bars playing a diverse range of music. Their fashion sense is a lot more reserved and elegant than that of a hood black woman and less overly sexual than what an urban black woman might wear. Examples: Candice Carty-Williams (author of Queenie) 4. Super creative and liberal black women The super creative and liberal black woman is like the middle-class black women in that her tastes aren’t exclusively black, and neither is her social circle. But where she differs from the middle-class black woman is that she is exceptionally creative. Very rebellious, creative and liberal black women often engage in pursuits and hobbies that would be considered too extreme or ‘out there’ for the hood, urban and even middle-class black women. Often these black women's fashion sense is very eccentric and influenced by other styles outside of black culture. These types of black women might really be into gaming, anime, or hobbies that are associated with different subcultures. Even their choice of occupation is often highly creative such as being actors, writers, or painters. Examples: Michaela Coel 5. Highly religious black women The highly religious black woman can be working class or middle class and can either be academically brilliant or not. Often a strict Christian, a highly religious black woman is God-fearing, and many of the decisions they make are guided by their religious beliefs. They are quite conservative in nature, and so it's doubtful you will find them at a club or twerking at any party. Usually, these women often strive for a stable and traditional life. Their social group is based around people with similar values to themselves, so they do not always exclusively socialise with black people. However, many choose to have predominately black friends because they share a similar experience and understanding of Christianity. Examples: Couldn’t think of any well-known examples but you’ll find many of these young black women at any predominately black church Conclusion Everyone is obviously an individual, and the above groups are just my own personal broad categories based on my 30 years of growing up in London around many black women. As I mentioned earlier, if you have an opinion, then feel free to leave your comments below and let’s engage in a conversation.  The thing about black women is... [insert insult or criticism about how black woman behave] As someone who has said the above line on numerous occasions, this was always going to be a difficult post to write. I was going to have to be brutally candid and honest with myself. So here goes… For most of my twenties, I put down black women. I’ve got nothing to hide, and I don’t want anyone who might wish bad on me to think they have something against me. Now that I have reached my 30s, I am committed to uplifting black women and creating both platonic and romantic relationships with them. But, for a long time, I only ever criticised black women. That’s right; I was that guy. Below are just some of the statements criticising black women that I used to spout from my big mouth: “Black women are too stubborn." “Black women are too demanding. “Black women always have a resting bitch face." “Black women are too materialistic." “Black women don’t show enough emotion. “Black women make you wait for sex for too long." “Black women don’t support black men." The above is not even the complete list. So what changed in me? Well, last year, I travelled to Portugal for Afronation, where I saw and interacted with so many beautiful black women from around the world. Immediately after Afronation, I spent a week solo travelling in Lisbon, where I had a sustained period of deep self-reflection. Like I had to question a lot of my thought processes and deconstruct who I even was as a black man. How could I proclaim that I love my black people if I were always so quick to put down black women? It goes beyond the fact that my mother was black. I had to examine not only why I had developed these thoughts but also understand the dangers of perpetuating such negativity about black women as a black man. The purpose of this blog post then is to examine what I feel are the main reasons some black men put down black women . But also, to look at why black men who are critical of black women are doing themselves a disservice. Don’t attack black women to justify why you date outside your race I have dated more women outside of my race than I have dated black women. To keep it real, I can count the number of black women I’ve had an intimate relationship with on one half of my hand. My ex/baby mother is a white Italian woman and my exes and lovers before my ex had all been different types of ethnic white. The reasons why I have dated outside of my race are complex, and not the focus of this blog. Also, I am far from the only black man who dates women who are not black, so this is not necessarily much of a talking point. Instead, what is important is addressing the fact that some black men put down black women to justify why they date outside their race. 50 Cent and Lil Wayne recently came under fire for their disparaging comments about black women. During his interview with the Young Money CEO, 50 Cent talked about his love for ‘exotic’ women while dismissing black women as ‘angry’ and who get ‘mad’ at his dating preferences. Lil Wayne chuckled at 50 Cent’s comments. It was disappointing to see both of these prominent black men disrespect black women, but I couldn’t judge as I had done the same in the past. To black men who do find other race of women attractive and exclusively date outside of our face, more power to you. A black man has the right to be attracted to whoever he wants, and as a black man, we don’t owe black women our love or our bodies. However, black men should not criticise black women to justify their choice to date outside their race. By doing this, black men are covering up their insecurities and self-hate that has been subconsciously instilled within them by mainstream rhetoric. If any black man criticises black women when speaking to his white girlfriend, then he needs to ask himself why that is. A black man came from a black mother; he might have a black sister or black female cousins. Black men disrespect themselves when they disrespect black women. The dangers of buying into stereotypes of black women There has always been an agenda against black people within society. For example, if a black man commits a violent crime, then suddenly it is representative of most black men. Or if a black woman is portrayed as overly aggressive on television, then this is how a majority of black women behave. As a result, some black men have bought into the mainstream narrative that all black women are angry, rude, and greedy. Firstly, this is not all black women, and secondly, these traits are not exclusive to black women. I have met aggressive white women, rude Indian woman, and materialistic Asian women. Let us stop immortalising this myth that black women have the worse attitude in the world. Are black women more challenging to date compared to say, white women? An argument could be made that they can be. But, as I’ve explained in one of my earlier blog posts, many black women have grown up in a particular environment that makes many of them very tough. Often, it is our black women who are the backbone not only of black families but of the entire black community. Many of the strongest single mothers and wives I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting have been black. Black men should be celebrating the resilience and toughness black women have rather than condemning it. The dangers of only respecting light-skinned black women For such a long time, to the point that it's tiring now, there has been an ongoing debate within the black community, mainly in western society but also in Africa and the Caribbean, about the perceived superiority of light-skinned black women. Many black men, and sometimes even black women themselves, have placed women with a lighter shade of skin on a pedestal. And this is reflected in black popular culture such as in black movies and films where the central black female lead is usually light skinned. And many black men have announced their preference for lighter-skinned black women over dark-skinned women. For me, a black woman is a black woman, irrespective of the pigmentation levels of her melanin. Black men must be uplifting all black women; not only the ones whose skin is the colour of caramel. Black women with skin as dark as coca-beans are just as beautiful and rich. The importance of cherishing our black women as black men I want to end this article by imploring our black men to cherish our black women. It does not matter if you’re currently dating a woman who is not black, still love and honour our black women. Many times over, black women have held it down for black men. No matter how tough we may feel they can be (and all women can be challenging anyway), we must uplift and encourage all black women. So, I apologise for every time I ever put down a black woman. As I grow into a more mature black man, you will never hear me put down a black woman again. The world can be a cruel place for black women; they don’t need their black men to be cruel to them as well.  Saturday 27th June was a historic day for the black British community. When I saw #BlackPounDay trending on twitter on that Saturday afternoon, I felt elevated. It was as if my whole body felt immense joy, and I had the biggest smile since my daughter was born. For years, going back to even my late teens, I have talked with other brethren about the importance of supporting black businesses and creating a black economy in the UK, the same way the Jewish and Asian community have. Most of the time, this conversation would fall on deaf ears and we continued talking about football, music and girls. Many of us black people in the UK generally tend to be more focused on bettering our own individual lives and the lives of our immediate family and friends. For a very long time, especially in my younger years, the black British community never really saw itself as an actual community. Instead, we were a disparate group of people, African or Caribbean, who just happened to live in the UK at the same time. That was it. But the viral sensation of #BlackPoundDay, a movement started by ex-So Solid Crew member Swiss, has shown that there has been a massive shift within the collective psychology of the black British community. It's taken decades to reach this point, but finally, the black British community is a functioning community of black people in Britain who finally see themselves as one group regardless of their heritage. Last Saturday, we came together all in the name of the black pound. The black British identity has fully come into its own It is too simplistic to attribute the success of #BlackPoundDay to the #blacklivesmatter movement and the death of George Floyd, which rocketed the whole #blacklivesmatter movement to the global stage. Of course, both have certainly given more urgency and relevancy to #BlackPoundDay, but it would have eventually existed even if racism had not become the current cultural zeitgeist. Put simply, #BlackPoundDay was inevitable. As a black Londoner, born and bred, I had witnessed the divisions among the black community, both culturally and geographically (e.g. postcode wars). Then, as is always the case with black people, I started to see black people come together in the form of music. We started to hear a black British sound which started with garage, then grime, followed by UK funky house (RIP), bashment, drill and afrobeat. From my research, back in the 60s, 70s and 80s, African and Caribbean kids did not go clubbing together. African and Caribbean music was not played in the same clubs in London as it is today. But by the 90s, African and Caribbean kids had all grown up together in the UK, so we now shared a Black British identity that overshadowed our Caribbean or African heritage, even if we did not admit it to ourselves. Today, millennial black people listen to the same black British music, speak the same black slang (wagwan fam) and share the same black British jokes regardless of our heritage. We now have a recognisable black British identity. So, with this fully realised albeit quietly acknowledged black British identity, the idea of a #BlackPoundDay was able to garner the serious traction and galvanise an entire group of people to spend on black businesses. We we’re supporting our own. More work to be done #BlackPoundDay will undoubtedly become a cultural fixture the same way Black History Month is. The economic empowerment of black people in the UK is what will create a visible and large black middle class, facilitate social mobility within the black community and thereby lift most of us out of poverty. The next #BlackPoundDay is set for August 1st. Like I did last Saturday, I will spend my money on black businesses and will do my best to do this as often as I can – not just on a specific day. But to create an actual black economy in the UK, we will need to do more than support a few black businesses. We need to diversify the types of black-owned services we provide, and we need to ensure the current and next generation of black boys and girls have the right skills to thrive in the economy. There are many black hairdressers, black cake shops, black nail shops, black fashion retail shops, black barbers and black event services. Trust me; I will continue to support these businesses in any way I can and as consistently as I can. But we cannot limit our burgeoning black economy to only these types of services. We need to start creating black companies which offer services and products that are in high demand. For example, a franchise of black supermarket retailers like ASDA which sells African and Caribbean products from all over the world. Or a B2B software service where most shareholders and employees are black British people. Or imagine a chain of properties purchased by a collective of black people, akin to a housing association, which are lent exclusively to other black British people. All of that is a pipe dream right now. We are probably another 30 years away before we reach that. However, there is no reason we cannot start building the foundations now. We can mentor and encourage our black children to equip themselves with skills that the economy needs such as IT and healthcare skills. We can even launch a national black trust fund which requires black people in the UK to contribute a small percentage of their salary into it. Black entrepreneurs in the UK could access this trust fund to obtain capital to fund their business, or black parents could access it to send their most gifted children to the most prestigious schools. Now is the time for the black British community to capitalise on the powerful #blacklivesmatter movement happening across the globe and rally together to grow our wealth collectively. Let #BlackPoundDay be only the start of a revolution that will not only be televised but economised as well. Visit the #BlackPoundDay website and find a large directory of black-owned businesses: https://blackpoundday.uk/ |
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